


Screw the Standard

by AkurnaSkulblaka



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Genderplay, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Size Kink, lots and lots of porn talk, sorry had to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:18:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkurnaSkulblaka/pseuds/AkurnaSkulblaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wanted a friggin cat, and he got one. Two, in fact, because he's Tony freaking Stark and he always gets what he wants. Well, almost. There's a certain elusive soldier that always seems to slip from his grasp when the moment truly counts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screw the Standard

**Author's Note:**

> First Avenger!fic, cut me some slack, k? Hope you like the shameless smut, just FYI.
> 
>  
> 
> **Appearances:**
> 
>  
> 
> Nori: <http://www.ariionkathleenbrindley.com/savannah.jpg>
> 
> Percy: <http://www.muamat.com/adpics/4b1f377627b36b32468d250e2.jpg>

**Warnings: Slight Genderplay, M/M Sex, Sizekink, Shameless Porn Speak, No Seriously, It’s Like You’re Watching Porn**

**“What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “What does he look like?” “Like a freaking cheetah? What the—Tony you didn’t!” Tony gets a friend…**

Tony had a thing. It was a horrible thing, one that nagged at him all the time, one that seemed to never dissipate, leaving him wanting and annoyed. He didn’t really have anyone to talk to about this thing, so kept it inside, where it festered and oozed like an open wound. In case you haven’t gotten it, Tony was lonely.

Yeah, forget it, it’s too much, Tony couldn’t have a story about him start out that way, all angsty and sad. Ya, hell nah. Anyway, Tony just wanted a damn pet. He wanted something that was cute, furry and could take care of itself when Tony went on his inventing sprees. Pepper said cats were pretty independent, that they only needed an overabundance of attention when they were kittens, so that they didn’t grow up skittish and the kind of cats that always slip under the bed when there was company over. That seemed like what Tony needed. He could love it, too. And pamper it; buy it wet food and a big ass scratching post. Yep, Tony wanted a cat.

He’d already asked Jarvis to look up what the most expensive cat breeds were, but he was starting to think that those fugly Persians might not be what he wanted. So he kept looking, until he spotted one particular picture of a very exotic looking cat with golden fur decorated with black markings.

“Ooh! It looks like a cheetah!” He frowned when he realized that the picture didn’t list the name of the breed.

“Jarvis, what’s the name of that breed of cat?” Tony asked, sure that the AI would find something, if not to tell him that the cat was some freak of cat-nature and was a one of a kind blend of a plethora of cat breeds. Oh, that would suck.

 _“It appears that it’s a Savannah, Sir,”_ Jarvis called, bringing up the webpage on the computer screen in front of Tony.

“Oh that’s beautiful… Ha! It’s official, it’s expensive enough for Tony Stark and badass enough for the Avengers, and I’m getting that cat.”

Tony wanted to take along the rest of the Avengers with him to the breeder to pick out the kitten, but Bruce was busy in the lab, Clint was being an asshole and Natasha was busy with Pepper. Tony swore that those two were together, with all the flirting that came from Natasha and all the blushing that came from Pepper, he swore! So it ended up being just Tony, Steve and Thor that went to go get the cute little kitten. Tony had to make Thor change when the man came out in his armor. They were going out in public, they couldn’t be broadcasting that they were the Avengers and they were in the neighborhood. And Thor in his armor would most definitely do that. In the end Thor looked fine in a Stark Industries t-shirt and a pair of Steve’s jeans.

They pulled up into the driveway of a very pristine looking house and climbed out of the car. He pulled out the box that was to carry the kitten from the trunk. Tony checked them over, making sure to brush some imaginary dust off of Steve’s broad shoulders. Whaaaat? He liked touching them, kay?

A short, portly woman answered the door when Tony knocked. She was well dressed and she had a thick head of hair that was pulled up into a tight bun. She looked like a stringent woman, with her arching eyebrows, one of which rose at the additional two men that were standing on her doorstep.

“Welcome boys,” she said, smiling warmly despite her initial demeanor. She opened the door wider and ushered them inside the house. She led them deeper into the house and into a small laundry room. It was at the threshold of the laundry room that Tony heard the near silent mewling of kittens. The woman stepped aside and a large basket was revealed, holding a mothering cat that was gently licking three kittens that were only slightly bigger than Tony’s hand. They wobbled around on unsteady paws and damn they were cute.

He bent down and extended his hand toward one of the kittens, the largest of which lifted it’s head and sniffed at Tony’s hand. After getting a whiff of Tony, the kitten seemed to lose all reservations and began to nuzzle Tony’s palm. When he scratched behind it’s ears the kitten purred. Tony picked it up and cradled it to his chest.

He noticed another basket full of kittens on the other side of the room Tony watched as one of the more brave kittens, one that had a strange tri colored pattern that was littered with patches of tabby fur, scrambled out of the basket and walked toward the new and strange scents coming from the three newcomers. Tony crouched down and picked up the kitten, holding it to his chest with the arm that wasn’t holding the first kitten. He could hear the faint purring coming from the two and he was hooked.

“I want them both,” he said stubbornly.

The woman smiled, nodding.

“The second litter of kittens comes from a stray we picked up a couple years ago. It seems that our male Savannah is a real stud,” the woman said, chuckling lightly. “Fortunately, they are not purebred and you don’t have to buy her to keep her.” The woman clapped her hands twice and smiled at the two kittens in Tony’s arms.

He lifted the tabby, “So this is a little girl,” he said, then lifted the Savannah, “Is this a girl too?”

“That’s a boy. The male Savannahs are always bigger than the females, so beware, as they are growing they can get stuck in places,” the woman said with a giggle. “Let’s go and get your payment settled, then you can take your kittens to their new home!”

Twenty minutes later found Tony driving home, Steve in the passenger seat, petting the mewling kittens and Thor in the back seat stretching the seat belt to its limit to see into the box that was in between the seats. Tony was grinning like a fool. He had his pets.

Walking into the mansion with the kittens was fairly easy, with Steve and Thor to help carry in the rest of the cat products they bought at the pet store.

“What are you going to name them?” Steve asked, untying the rubber chord that held the scratching post inside the trunk. The thing was huge, Tony had to pick the biggest and most expensive one.

“I don’t know yet…”

Steve, with little effort, pulled the scratching post out of the trunk and set it on his shoulder, and damn that was hot. Tony took a deep breath, trying to keep a strict control over his libido. Thor seemed to grin like he knew. The bastard.

Once they had everything set up, the scratching post was in the living room and the litter-box in the laundry room, and Tony had insisted that the kittens’ food bowls should be in the kitchen so they could eat with the rest of them, so in the end the expensive trashcan was moved from it’s little niche in the corner of the room and it was replaced with the two tiny cat bowls.

There were two beds, one in the living room and one in Tony’s room. He gently lifted the kittens from the box and set them on the soft carpet. Immediately they began to sniff and take in the overabundance of new and strange smells. Tony nearly swooned when the little female made her way over to Steve and the bulky man gingerly picked her up with big hands, petting down her back with one hand while holding her in the palm of the other. Tony could hear the purring from across the room as she arched her back into the warm caress.

“How’s the name Percy sound?” Tony asked, watching the kitten bat her tiny paw as Steve kept his fingers teasingly out of her reach.

“For the Savannah? It sounds nice, but I was expecting something more regal for him, knowing that his owner is Tony—”

“No, no, for the girl,” Tony interjected quickly, knowing the snarky comment would agitate him if he acknowledged it, he instead chose to ignore the jibe. His displeasure must have shown on his features, because Tony also found that he had to ignore the smile that spread Steve’s lips, so as not to snark back.

“Percy’s a boy’s name though,” Steve said, still petting the squirming kitten.

“I’ll have you know that the name Percy is good for both male and female. Unisex, if you will,” Tony said, examining his nails, peevishly ignoring the man petting _his_ cat.

“Fine, fine, we’ll call her Percy,” Steve said, smiling down at the newly named kitten with warmth that Tony longed to see directed at him.

“The boy is to be named Nori,” Tony said, giving Steve a mulish look. Steve rolled his eyes, still petting Percy, who was purring like crazy. Tony smiled cutely.

“Why do you want to name him that?”

“It’s Iron backwards.”

Steve groaned, making Percy jump in his grasp. The fur on Percy’s back had risen in her fear but after a few choice words spoken in a soothing voice from Steve, she was once again cuddling into Steve’s lap. “You would name your cat a cheap spin-off of your superhero name,” he said quietly.

“Whatever, it’s elegant enough for a Savannah, kay?”

*-*

Percy loved Dum-E. As she grew older, it seemed that Tony would always find her perched atop the damned robot. Tony just thought it was that she liked high places, and it was true. He would always discover her on top of the dresser just snoozing in front of the air conditioning vent. The person she liked best was Steve, because he was the one that spent the most time with her. Tony would often find that he was sort of jealous, after all, Percy was _his_ cat and he had spent his fair amount of time with her. She was a playful kitten, and Steve and Tony took great use of the many toys he had bought. Sometimes she would even chase You around the lab, the little robot chirping as he weaved across the floor.

It was Tony’s irrational jealousy of Steve and Percy that provoked the two men together. It all started with Steve sitting on the couch to watch TV or maybe pull out his sketch book and draw. Percy, drawn like a moth to a flame, came running and nimbly leapt onto Steve’s lap, who would set aside his book, or the remote, and pet Percy till she was purring. Tony, in his jealous manner, had asked Jarvis to tell him when Percy was getting too comfortable. Tony swore it the AI was amused whenever the warning came. And when it did, Tony would scurry out of his lab and head upstairs, promptly stealing Percy from his lap and cuddling the more than willing feline to his chest. (Percy didn’t care who petted her, so long as she was the one being pet…)

Once Tony went so far as to stick out his tongue petulantly when Percy purred like a motor in his lap. This was when Steve ignored the childish gesture and scooted himself closer, under the pretense that he wanted to pet Percy, and threw his arm around Tony’s shoulders, his other hand coming to pet Percy, who just purred louder. Eventually, Steve thought it was most likely from lack of sleep or lack of an abundant influx of caffeine, Tony fell asleep, his head leaning on Steve’s shoulder and his dark hair tickling Steve’s neck. 

It became a habit of theirs, soon after; that Tony would fall into sleep while he and Steve pet the cats. (Sometimes Nori would get jealous, too, and he would jump into Tony’s lap and demand attention in his loud kitty way, usually and enthusiastic _mrowr_ did the trick) 

It brought on more interactions between them; like Steve pouring Tony’s coffee before the genius ever could, or even Tony letting Steve into his lab so the soldier could sketch quietly in the corner. The team in their own snarky way, started to notice. The only person who didn’t have a thing to say about them growing closer was Natasha, and that’s only because the slight upturn of her lips said more than any words ever could. 

They never broke their simple tradition until one particular day Tony awoke bleary eyed and lifted his head only to have his soft, sleep-pliant mouth, covered by an enthusiastic kiss from none other than the soldier of his dreams. To say he kissed back was an understatement, because they did more than just kiss. 

So, to say that Percy was the matchmaker in Tony’s relationship with Steve was pretty much the truth. 

Now Nori, his favorite _was_ Tony. And Tony loved it. He’d even opened up a cat door beside the door to his lab so that Nori could walk in and out of his lab when he pleased. The cat had the loudest meow Tony had ever heard, and as the little guy grew, the meow got louder and louder, till Nori could wake up Tony whenever he wanted food just by meowing in front of the man’s bedroom door.

And it was one of those loud meows that had woken Tony up at the butt crack of dawn, on a particularly good day. Well, it was good, but Tony didn’t know it yet. He scrambled pathetically out of his bed and did some more scrambling toward the door of his room. He grumbled as he opened the can of Fancy Feast and scooped the wet food out with a spoon. He set the green bowl down on the floor beside the little pink jeweled bowl that belonged to a very finicky Percy.

It was around that time when Percy came crawling out of Steve’s room and Tony had to pull out the can of fish Fancy Feast and serve it into the pink bedazzled bowl.

“That cat sure is a picky eater,” Clint said as he walked in the kitchen to Tony throwing away the empty can of Fancy Feast in the trash. “All she eats is fish!”

“Shut-up; leave my exceptionally needy cat alone. She’s perfect,” Tony groused, pulling out a can of tuna fish for his breakfast. He swore it; he was turning into one of his cats.

“Yeah, okay,” Clint said before he pulled out the meat and cheese to make a sandwich. Sandwich made, Clint walked out of the kitchen. Presumably to go take a shower after his morning workout.

“Remember who’s living in whose tower!” Tony called, judging by the grunt, Clint heard him. Tony grumbled and mixed in an overabundance of mayonnaise into his tuna. So shoot him, he liked a lot of mayonnaise in his tuna… whatever.

Steve walked in then, likely looking for Percy, who’d left his room. Tony acknowledged his presence with a grunt, without turning around.

“Where’s the princess?” he asked when he saw Tony.

Tony turned and was about to respond when his brain short circuited. Well shit. Damn, Captain America topless never ceased to amaze Tony. Those bulging pectorals, the firm abs and the delicious Adonis lines that trailed down and disappeared beneath low riding gym shorts nearly made Tony drool. Mmmm, yes…

“Uh… what?” he asked eloquently, realizing that he’d forgotten what Steve had asked him. Steve frowned and seemed to look puzzled, before repeating the question.

“Oh! Yeah, she’s right here,” Tony said, pointing with a mayonnaise covered knife at the two cats who were eating happily. He may or may not have splattered a couple drops of mayo on the floor, but of course, he didn’t really care, You would get to it eventually.

“That looks good.” Tony nearly jumped right out of his skin when Steve appeared behind him, looking over his shoulder at the Mayo-Tuna blend.

Tony rolled his eyes, “Fine, you can have some,” he grumbled, scooping the tuna onto two slices of Wonder Bread. Hell yeah, white bread ftw.

He put the two sandwiches on plates and handed one of them to Steve, who took it and kissed his cheek in gratitude, and damn Steve was sweet. Tony smiled, loving the blush that showed Steve’s embarrassment, and indicated that it might just have been done on impulse. Cute.

They sat at the kitchen table and dug in, Tony moaning as he ate his first bite of tuna sandwich, nearly inhaling it. Steve ate at a more sedate pace, and more quietly, too.

“So I bought a pair of harnesses for Percy and Nori,” Tony said, after he took his last bite of sandwich.

“For what?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, duh, so we can walk them…” Tony said, looking at Steve like he should understand. Steve gave him a look. It was this look that the blonde always gave Tony when Tony said something that he’d never heard before. Yeah, it should annoy the hell out of Tony, but, it didn’t, it only made him like Steve more.

“I’ve never heard of someone walking their cats,” Steve said, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“It’s not normal, but some people do it,” Tony mused, “Will you walk Percy while I walk Nori?” he asked after a small pause. Steve smiled, making Tony grin in return.

“Sure.”

Tony picked up his plate and carried it over to the sink, and in a split second decision, he decided to be nice and pick up Steve’s plate too. He washed the plates quickly and dried them before putting them where they belonged in the cupboard. He was just closing the cupboard door when something solid and warm pinned him to the counter. Hot breath fanned over his neck where his skin was exposed by his wife-beater. He craned his neck sideways, allowing Steve room to nuzzle his neck.

“Well, this is unexpected,” he drawled, smirking. A tongue laved at his pulse and he barely suppressed a shiver. He reached a hand back and plunged it into blonde locks, and damn they were soft.

“I love it when you clean for me,” Steve said between licks, before firmly planting his hands on Tony’s hips and bringing him closer. Tony moaned as he felt the heat of Steve’s erection against the curve of his ass.

“Yeah? Am I your little maid?”

Steve groaned and pressed closer, biting gently at Tony’s neck. “I’d love to see my girl dressed up,” he whispered, dragging his hands up Tony’s sides, and to his chest to pinch the brunet’s nipples, making the man moan.

Tony twisted in Steve’s grasp, wrapping his arms around the thick neck and kissing his lips hungrily. Steve plundered Tony’s mouth, his tongue delving into a warm cavern and twining with Tony’s, wringing a moan from the smaller man. Steve cupped Tony’s ass, picking him up and away from the counter, Tony whimpering at the strength of the bigger man.

“Fuck that’s so hot, baby,” Tony murmured against Steve’s lips.

“Yeah? You like that?” Steve whispered heatedly, squeezing Tony’s ass as he walked them in the direction of Tony’s room. He kicked the door closed with his foot after he entered the room and gently dropped Tony’s onto the bed, crawling on top of him and kissing him thoroughly. Tony groaned into the kiss when Steve’s fingers trailed along the seam of his sweat pants and he thrust his hips upward yearning for Steve’s hand to move lower and touch the hardness that resided within the confines of his pants.

“Touch me, Steve, please,” he begged, still thrusting his hips forward in a futile attempt to feel some form of friction on his heated erection. He took a hold of Steve’s wrist and brought it down, where the big hand palmed the tent in Tony’s pants. “Yes, fuck yes.”

Steve pulled his hand up and then slipped his fingers into the elastic on the sweat pants, and pulled downward, removing them and revealing all the tanned toned skin of Tony’s body. He gazed heatedly at Tony’s cock, red and hot and pressed against his stomach. He wrapped a hand around it and stroked slowly, bringing a cry from Tony’s lips. He watched the play of sensation on Tony’s face; his mouth forming an ‘o’ of pleasure and then the clench of his eyes as Steve shifted and slicked a finger in his mouth and slowly pressed it against his perineum. He dipped the finger lower and Tony spread his legs more, allowing more room for Steve to work the finger into his tight hole.

“Ohfuck, yeah,” Tony groaned, thrusting his hips upward and successfully bringing the finger deeper inside him.

“Tony, baby, where’s your lube?” Steve asked, slipping the finger from Tony’s entrance, making the genius groan in frustration.

“Underneath the pillow.”

Steve pulled the bottle from its hiding place and flipped the cap open, pouring a liberal amount onto his fingers, he spread it over Tony’s hole, before lying down on his back and pulling Tony on top of him, so that Tony was facing his cock. Tony whispered “Fuck yes.” Before taking Steve’s dick into his mouth and sucking hard. Steve barely kept from moaning, spreading Tony’s cheeks and slipping two fingers into Tony. Tony moaned around his cock and Steve licked the skin behind Tony’s balls, then gently sucking the sensitive orbs one by one into his mouth, still thrusting his fingers into the loosening hole. He slid in another finger pushed them in deep, stretching as far as he could reach, before Tony’s hips thrust forward and his mouth came up off Steve’s burning erection and he cried out in pleasure as Steve hit a spot inside him that made him see stars. Bringing up his other hand, he delved another finger into Tony’s ass and pulled, spreading him apart, before inserting his tongue as deep as he could.

“Yeah, baby lick my pussy, fuck yeah,” Tony moaned, his hand working at Steve’s cock while he spoke. He licked the head of his cock still pushing out his hips in tandem with the thrusts of Steve’s tongue.

“Oh god Steve, I need your cock in me, fucking _now_ ,” Tony growled, before swinging himself up and off of Steve and straddling his lap. Three thrusts downward and the head of Steve’s cock gently probed Tony’s loosened hole, slipping inside, drawing twin moans from the two men. Tony sat back and rose up before bringing himself back down, his ass engulfing Steve’s cock again. Big, strong hands took a hold of his hips and fingers dug into the skin of his hip bones with every downward thrust.

Their movements sped up, Tony rising and falling faster in Steve’s lap, his erection bobbing and lewdly splattering precum onto Steve’s stomach. Tony felt like his body was on fire. His skin felt hypersensitive, and the slap of skin on skin was filling his ear drums, Steve satisfying not only his body, but his mind as well. Thoughts of unrelenting _finality_ filled his mind, he was finally getting what he wanted, and Steve was doing an amazing job at fulfilling Tony’s wants and desires. Tony grinned, looking down at Steve, whose gaze was pinned to his bouncing cock. He threw his head back and moaned after Steve let out an animalistic sort of sound and gripped Tony in his big hand and pumped him in time with their frantic thrusting.

Steve thought that Tony came magnificently, his back arching, his grip on Steve’s thighs constricting to the point of pain and Steve was sure that there would be bruises for a couple hours. The clenching of Tony’s inner walls brought Steve to his own mind-blowing peak, his hips stuttering as he rode out his orgasm, before slowly coming to a stop as Tony’s whined from oversensitivity. Tony pitched forward as letting out a breath as Steve slipped from his abused hole.

Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, heedless of the cum staining his belly and squeezed. He let out a little sigh and Tony grinned.

“You’re happy aren’t you? I’m happy, are you happy? Oh, heh, you _seemed_ happy, a couple minutes ago…” Tony prattled till Steve silenced his chatter with a kiss. It wasn’t heated like the previous ones, instead, it was soft and sweet, fluffy around the edges, and it reminded Tony of Percy and Nori when they were kittens. A short, pleased sigh escaped the confines of Tony’s small body and a smile pulled at his lips even as they were preoccupied with Steve’s.

“Yeah, I’m happy, ‘cause I’m with the man of my dreams,” Steve murmured as he pulled away, looking Tony in his brown eyes. Tony, who would never admit it in the history of ever, blushed and looked down, before peeking up at Steve from beneath his lashes once he had recovered some semblance of dignity.

“That was cheesy, Steve,” Tony smiled softly, before pressing his lips to Steve’s in another soft kiss, “Cheesy. But also really, really sweet.”

*-*

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was nice.


End file.
